How I Got My Shrunken Head Free read Á 100

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Read ã PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook Ë R.L. Stine Two Heads Got My PDF #10003 Are Better Than OneWhat has two eyes a mouth and wrinkly green skin Mark's shrunken head It's a present from his Aunt Benn. #39 Heads upMark's aunt Benna just sent him a present from the tropical jungles of Baladora A present that reminds him of one of his favorite video games A shrunken head But this isn't any normal shrunken head This one has strange jungle magic inside it Can Mark learn how to use the strange magic and save the island and his aunt

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How I Got My Shrunken Head Free read Á 100 » ❰Reading❯ ➿ How I Got My Shrunken Head Author R.L. Stine – Two Heads Are Better Than OneWhat has two eyes a mouth and wrinkly green skin Mark's shrunken head It's a present from his Aunt Benna A gift from the jungle island of BaladoraMark can' Late one night the head starts to glow Because I Got My PDF #9734 it's no ordinary head It gives Mark a strange power A magical power A dangerous pow. Wow this book was so COOL I stared at a headA human head wrinkled and leathery About the size of a tennis ballThe pale dry lips were pulled back in a sneer The neck was stitched closed with heavy black string The eyes solid black eyes stared up at meA shrunken head A real shrunken headMark barely remembers his Aunt Benna She has been working for the last 12 years on the jungle island of Baladora he hasn't seen her since he was 4 But now a mysterious woman has come to the door claiming to be Benna's co worker She comes bearing a gift a shrunken headWow I looked up shrunken heads when I got to this part So scaryAnyway Mark is obsessed with the jungle He loves his new shrunken head If only he can keep his annoying 8 year old sister Jessica's paws off of itBut that night when Mark is lying in bed trying to go to sleep the shrunken head starts to glowWow this book is super exciting No wonder it was one of my all time favorite Goosebumps books growing up along with Why I'm Afraid of Bees and My Hairiest Adventure We take a normal kid short chubby dark haired video game obsessed and send him halfway across the world to the deepest jungle There he faces tigers uicksand and huge fire ants There's magic in the jungle too magic only Mark can control and possess We have betrayal guns espionage and lies Dum dum DUMLOL But seriously a super cool entry in the Goosebumps series I enjoyed every page of it Highly recommended for kids and parents who like exciting stories

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How I Got My Shrunken HeadA A gift from the jungle How I PDF island of BaladoraMark can't wait to show the kids at school his shrunken head It's so ugly So gross So awesome But. WARNING REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SOME SPOILERS as if you fing careOk so after seeing what an atrocity Attack of the Jack O Lanterns was I decided to revisit a bunch of randomly selected Goosebumps book that are collecting dust on my shelf Anyway on to the reviewI think a part of me died after reading this This might just be the worst piece of trash book I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading I know that puts it up against competition like Attack of the Jack O Lanterns and Leaving Fishers but trust me This is on a whole other level Because there is something wrong with every Single Chapter So without further ado let’s dive into this hellhole I’m not going to go over every single aspect If you want to know so much about it so badly go waste your money and buy it yourself CHAPTER 1 Lots of telling instead of showing Since this happens uite often I’ll just put TIOS to tell you We get introduced to our “relatable” main character and as a cheap use of foreshadowing he adores jungles I guess that way the author's job is easier and he can make the deadline in time Our protagonist's name from here on out will be Obnoxious Idiot You’ll see why Also he reveals his “Jungle Cry” in this chapter Yes a “Jungle Cry” is just as stupid as it sounds His cry his this “Ka Lee Ah” ಠಠ SeriouslyCHAPTER 2 His Aunt’s close explorer friend or something like that I don’t fing care brings Obnoxious a present which is a shrunken head He is so in love with it he seems ready to bang it honestly Apparently his aunt is busy doing busy things but she is soon interrupted by Obnoxious’s sister who gasp takes his precious shrunken head Then there is one of the many many many many many many fake scares in the book and it’s so SO obvious CHAPTER 3 TIOS Another fake scare that made me want to drink the Windex in the laundry room Thing is the implied scariness AND BY ‘IMPLIED’ I MEAN THEY SCREAM IN YOUR FACE “BE SCARED PLEASE PLEASE BE SCARED BY THIS STUPID THING THAT IS SO OBVIOUSLY NOT SCARY” is completely unneeded and does nothing to move the plot forward or advance ANYTHING You could have taken out all of that implied scariness and NOTHING would be lostCHAPTER 4 Obnoxious and his sister argue about whether girls think shrunken heads are cool or some shit YAWN Also a real scare that leads to stupidnessCHAPTER 5 So the scare happens while Obnoxious is in bed His first reaction is to scream out a 15 second “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo” I don’t know about you but that is most DEFINITELY how a normal prepubescent would react Warning sarcasm reaching dangerous levels Immediately after that sentence it says he “wailed” You know as in a sound kind of wail But he said an actual wordso yeah And then on the same exact PAGE he lets out the same EXACT “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo” Why Because in his terror he falls out of bed and gets tangled in the covers I probably would’ve burst out laughing at that if it didn't make me want to jump off a cliff After alerting his parents he comes back to the room only to find the shrunken head gone CHAPTER 6 Turns out his sister took it off his shelf THEY SPEND 2 AND A ¼ PAGES ON THIS SINGLE FACT F ME Then stupid obvious foreshadowing CHAPTER 7 Where only on 7 UGH TIOS Big surprise His Aunt’s friend is taking him on a trip to the jungle his Aunt is exploring Surprising because the blurb mentions nothing about this Even though the story takes place in the jungle for literally 724137931% of the book Also why does it say he has a ‘dangerous power’ in the blurb All we see it do is save Obnoxious’s ass a couple times Also another fake scare that does nothing to advance the plot and is completely meaninglessCHAPTER 8 We get introduced to 2 cliches a girl who is Obnoxious’s age conveniently she will shall be called Obvious McTwist and another adult who we will call Doesnothing Mac Probablyachildmolester The aforementioned adult tells Obnoxious that he has a dark destructive power of epic proportions Surely such a power as a mysterious foreboding name to match it’s own power right It’s called “Jungle Magic” ノಠ益ಠノ AND THEY SAY IT WITH A SERIOUS STRAIGHT FACE AS IF IT ISN’T THE MOST UNINSPIRED STUPID NAME GIVEN TO ANYTHING IN THE HISTORY OF ANYTHING EVER OF ANYTHING EVER CHAPTER 9 So Obnoxious Idiot certainly lives up to his last name in this chapter First he asks to himself if “Jungle Magic” is a video gameಠಠ Then all of the characters take a product placement break Next is uite a facepalm worthy page or two So after hearing he has “Jungle MAGIC” Obnoxious asks if his aunt gave him “some kind of magic” THEN LITERALLY ON THE SAME PAGE AFTER RESTATING HE HAS JUNGLE MAGIC HE ASKS THIS “You’re telling me I have some special kind of magic powers” ┛◉Д◉┛彡┻━┻ WELL NO SHIT SHERLOCK They literally say the word “magic” 12 times in this one chapter 7 times in the last 1 ½ pages If you couldn’t tell by my just just joyous and eccentric tone IT GETS A LITTLE ANNOYINGCHAPTER 10 and beginning of 11 kinda TIOS FILLER FILLER AND A BIT MORE FILLER ANOTHER SCARE THAT ISN'T SCARY BECAUSE WE KNOW WHY IT IS HAPPENING BUT OBNOXIOUS DOESN’T SO IT’S A BIT FRUSTRATINGCHAPTER 11 help me Fake scare because it sets it up like a scare but it’s incredibly predictable and also you knowNOT SCARY KIND OF LIKE THIS ENTIRE SHITSTORM THAT MAKES ME ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED BEYOND ANY REASONABLE MEASURECHAPTER 12 He finds out Doesnothing and Aunt friend person are plotting to steal his magic and use it for evil What a surprise What A Fing Surprise I most certainly didn’t see it coming from 40 trillion kilometers away FAKE SCARECHAPTER 13 OH NO That girl we definitely still remember who the f am I kidding who is she stops him from walking out the door Like she was just you know standing there Waiting for him to come out She’s obviously a stalker And guess what else YOU GUESSED IT FAKE FING SCARECHAPTER 14 TIOS Filler that has no point and doesn’t advance the plot in any way Moving onCHAPTER 15 Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah UUUUUHHHHHHHH Literally the first thing that happens is he hears an animal and he thinks the most cringey stupid thing that only a 40 year old man would think a kid would think in this situation So after hearing this sound which by the way is incredibly comical he says this ”Not a giant rabbit It sounded really BIG” I’m not kidding he all capsed that last word It was PATHETIC He has a stupid dream that isn’t scary It takes up a whole page of the chapter and is pointless meaningless filler that has no purpose and doesn’t advance the plot in any way Are you beginning to notice a pattern CHAPTER 16 HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahUUUGGHHHHSo you’re not going to believe this In this chapter they reveal that his stupid jungle cry from earlier is the “Magic Word” that activates his “Jungle Magic” And he uses it to get ants off of himJust Just JUST AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHCHAPTER 17 19 TIOS TIOS everywhere He gets stuck in some uicksand and spends at least 5 pages trying to get out of it before finally using the “Jungle Magic” to save his pathetic ass The entire 3 chapters 3 whole entire FING CHAPTERS spent on this single scene serves no purpose and is pointless filler that does nothing to advance the story in any way shape or formCHAPTER 20 Obnoxious angers a tiger He tries to talk to the tiger and tell it that he isn’t trying to hurt his cubs I’m not kidding he says it in plain english Hey imbecile tigers don’t understand english you feeble minded thick numbskull So he uses his jungle magic and the book makes it seem like it doomed him when we all know it saved his behind once again So basically TAKES HUGE BREATHFAKE SCARECHAPTER 21 He tries to use his jungle magic AGAIN in order to get him out of yet another situation But before he can a mysterious figure appears I WONDER WHO IT ISCHAPTER 22 Yep it’s Obvious McTwist Why is she here Well you see she was worried about Obnoxious so she followed him without alerting him of his presence for ¾ of the time she followed him and picked now to show herself And do you know what her first uestion is It’s “What are you doing down there” WHATYOU WERE THE ONE WHO HELPED HIM ESCAPE YOU THICK STUPID IDIOTIC NUMB SKULLED FEEBLE MINDED IMBECILECHAPTER 23 All he thinks about for the first page is that stupid game from the beginning that has absolutely no significance on anything at all He tells Obvious that her father is evil but she’s not into that so yeah Then they hear a human cough I WONDER WHO IT COULD BECHAPTER 24 TURNS OUT IT’S OBNOXIOUS’S AUNT SHE GIVES A BUNCH OF EXPOSITION WHICH IS WHY I WILL BE CALLING HER FROM HERE ON OUT AUNT TIOSCHAPTER 25 and 26 Sorry I had the caps lock on for that last chapter description Now we get the obvious twist you saw coming since the first chapter that we met her on turns out Obvious is like evil too And she was only following him so that they could use him to find aunt TIOS Who has the secret to “Jungle Magic” But they could have just gotten the secret from Obnoxious soyeah Obvious is about to reveal the word but before she can get it out Obnoxious clamps his hand over her mouth and aunt TIOS tries to escape They spend pages on this scene that ends in their failure and it has no point and is completely meaningless filler If that seems needlessly convoluted to you then you'd be right STUPID FORESHADOWING IS STUPIDCHAPTER 27 They all eventually get back to the Hs and the evil guys threaten to get this shrink their heads if they don't tell then the magic word But Obvious already knows it so why aren’t they just asking her What is happeningCHAPTER 28 and 29UUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH He’s about to use the magic head to save themselves again but oh no His head gets hit into the pile of other shrunken heads that’s conveniently off to the side He eventually finds it and uses the power to save them once and for all THE ENDThat was so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so soAWFUL I am now going to go revel in my own shame and self loathing for a while If I sound uninterested it is only because I am truly TRULY defeated It take uite a huge level of bumbling incompetence and ineptitude to drain my soul at such an alarmingly uick rate This pile of feces not only has no point and is completely meaningless with no value or merit that would actually impact anything at all but also is stupid SO SO STUPID And I’m giving this one a negative 12 uadrillion10 and a negative 6 trillion5One final note If I had to sum up this book in one word it would be this TAKES LARGE BREATH AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJSHGUEYWGUEWYBUYWEGIUYWEUYVTEWOUFHCLFUYVLCULVFBADJFVYACFBJDBGBGHBGCBGKFXBGGXVBETGAFCKFAVTVTAELRVCVTKUYVDHGFHDGFJSHGFDJKAVGCFCKAUYFTRGYVKGJHFCSCDJHFGJSHCVFKYUVTKUWYERVJKWHEGKUYFERKTYDFWCGVWLDSDUWCWVHDSGVJCSHGDJSHGVJDSCHGVCCDJGAVJDSVJGVJGJhVEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHGHGHGHGHGHGHEAGEHGAHEGAHGEHAGHEGAHAGHEGHGJCAEFKVGKFJGKJDGFJSGJYGJCGFJHGFJHGSDJHFGMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHGMJDFGHBJCHFGJHFGJHSDHJVFJCHGFHGGJDCFGHHDFGJTEHYGFEUYYJEURYIUEROTIWURYBEFBCCNXMNHCVCBNBBERUBKWEYCRKVTKYEKUWERYTVKYBUGYRGBHGHHERGUBABLURB I'M ENDING THIS REVIEW KNOW GOOD BYE